Impressions of Keswick

Emily Shackleton later recorded: “The only comment he made to me about not reaching the Pole was ‘a live donkey is better than a dead lion, isn’t it?’ and I said ‘Yes darling, as far as I am concerned.”

My trip to the lake district after my whirlwind tour of Sundance, LA, and Berlin was just what the doctor ordered. Keswick Film Festival  was a beautiful friendly festival and I saw some brilliant films I normally wouldn’t get a chance to see, like Dukhtar and My Love, Don’t Cross that River. Thank you very much Angela Jackson (on stage in a beautiful fur hat introducing Dukhtar below).

I can’t help but have pure calm zen thinking as I look at the moments that passed by…


Thank you very much Angela Jackson (media lawyer in fur hat above presenting Dukhtar). Thank you also Keswick film festival for giving me such good experience and ensuring there was no rain.




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Take a walk on the Woodside

Here’s my first published article 🙂


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As per

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Why I must clone myself…

The intellect of man is forced to choose
perfection of the life, or of the work,
And if it take the second must refuse
A heavenly mansion, raging in the dark.
When all that story’s finished, what’s the news?
In luck or out the toil has left its mark:
That old perplexity an empty purse,
Or the day’s vanity, the night’s remorse.  – Yeats

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Poetic Moment To Go

And now some much needed melancholy by yours truly:

Old ideas inspiring the new
Started a fire that
Made me cast my gaze on things
I now wish I never knew


I acted on pure instinct
Learning as I go 
They say that nothing ever goes away from us until
it has taught us all we need to know

12179039_10153727968704511_1080268300_nLike a butterfly in its last few moments
Unable to hide its beauty 
She stops flying and lies in the pre snow
Is this how I’ll feel 

When love leaves me? 
Is this the feeling that I don’t want to know?

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Review the Reviewers

The first lesson of economics is SCARCITY: there is never enough of anything to fully satisfy all those who want it. The first lesson of politics is to DISREGARD the first lesson of economics. (Thomas Sowell). I say that the first lesson of theatre is to always make the audience suffer as much as possible (Alfred Hitchcock). Lord behold I may have just achieved just that on my latest stage performance!

Melissa Jean Woodside  Comments & Reviews:

“In her role as a self-confessed sadist Inez Serrano in M + E Theatre’s gripping take on Jean-Paul Sartre’s nightmarish No Exit, Melissa Jean Woodside showed why she was a worthy winner of this year’s Royal Reel Award, with a tour de force performance at this year’s Edinburgh Fringe. With literally thousands of actors in the Scottish capital during the world famous arts festival, standing out from the crowd is no easy feat, and yet Woodside achieved this with consummate ease, proving her to be an actor of exceptional ability. What’s certain is that we’ll be seeing a lot more of Woodside in the years to come.”

Gary Flockhart
Arts Critic, Edinburgh Evening News

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“Inez, a lesbian was brilliant, living the bitchy character right from the start. She was confident and delivered challenging performance. Sitting among the audience at one point was imaginative, unpredicted and brave. Inez won us over with her performance.” Lian Hau

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“I didn’t expect to relate to Inez at all, her resting bitch face annoying me from the start, but she really won me over with her performance, I was impressed.” Laura D.

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… The Feminist in me is slightly intrigued by the following review:

“Melissa Jean Woodside’s Inez, the most sympathetic character in the play, was a welcome contrast to Michelle van Rensburg, whose hysterical Estelle was a bit too much, especially considering Estelle should be a sophisticated lady.” Caspar Jacobs (EdFringe Review)

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“I felt Inez stood out the most even though she came out dark and bitchy she brought a true understanding to the concept of hell.” Max O’Connel

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Well, well, well. Thank you all for coming and for your valued contributions on my attempts at the craft!

To summarise in my brain:

  1. I can play a lesbian. Not to a level of “good” or “mediocre“, but “very very convincingly“.

2. My “resting bitch face” can result in equally resting bitch face reviews. Not towards me, of course, (this time any way! Thank you theatre Lords).

3. My “resting bitch face” can win otherwise non-engaged audience members over.

4. My “resting bitch face” … ______. Oh stop it. Over-use of quotation marks is annoying.

Swiftly moving on…

4. I can play a 1940’s poorper post office clerk “very very convincingly” as well. My parent’s weekly $5 allowance if I scrubbed the toilet may just have something to do with this. Particularly alarming how some audience members seem to think sitting with them is ingenious! Thankful and gracious for the praise I am thus, but little do they know, the chair I was sitting on stage was breaking down. Yes, yes, I timed it so it worked out perfectly with the script:

<Estelle to Garcin>: “There’s no one here! (looks around for Melissa) Kiss me darling!”

The good news is, based on the above reviews, I will be performing something in London very soon. As per Hitchcock’s definition of good theatre, I shall make audiences suffer as much as possible once more.

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Latest Short Film written and produced by Georgina Graham

Melissa Jean Woodside in "Eat the Cake"

Melissa Jean Woodside in “Eat the Cake”

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Champagne de Bleuchamp – A Spectre Calls Stills

Coco Channel drank Champagne for breakfast. I have started doing the same… Bring on the Cuvee energy!

On and off screen stills of this week’s Champagne de Bleuchamp commercial produced by Rupert Smith & assisted by Natasha Marburger, written by Guy Fee, Directed by Howard Ford, starring yours truly, John Rhys-Davies & Izabella Malewska. Watch this space!
On and off screen stills of this week's DeBleuchamp commercial produced by Rupert Smith starring yours truly, John Rhys-Davies, Izabella Malewska. Watch this space!

with John Rhys-Davies

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with Howard Ford

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It’s a dog’s life…

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