The first lesson of economics is SCARCITY: there is never enough of anything to fully satisfy all those who want it. The first lesson of politics is to DISREGARD the first lesson of economics. (Thomas Sowell). I say that the first lesson of theatre is to always make the audience suffer as much as possible (Alfred Hitchcock). Lord behold I may have just achieved just that on my latest stage performance!
“In her role as a self-confessed sadist Inez Serrano in M + E Theatre’s gripping take on Jean-Paul Sartre’s nightmarish No Exit, Melissa Jean Woodside showed why she was a worthy winner of this year’s Royal Reel Award, with a tour de force performance at this year’s Edinburgh Fringe. With literally thousands of actors in the Scottish capital during the world famous arts festival, standing out from the crowd is no easy feat, and yet Woodside achieved this with consummate ease, proving her to be an actor of exceptional ability. What’s certain is that we’ll be seeing a lot more of Woodside in the years to come.”
Arts Critic, Edinburgh Evening News
“Inez, a lesbian was brilliant, living the bitchy character right from the start. She was confident and delivered challenging performance. Sitting among the audience at one point was imaginative, unpredicted and brave. Inez won us over with her performance.” Lian Hau
“I didn’t expect to relate to Inez at all, her resting bitch face annoying me from the start, but she really won me over with her performance, I was impressed.” Laura D.
… The Feminist in me is slightly intrigued by the following review:
“Melissa Jean Woodside’s Inez, the most sympathetic character in the play, was a welcome contrast to Michelle van Rensburg, whose hysterical Estelle was a bit too much, especially considering Estelle should be a sophisticated lady.” Caspar Jacobs (EdFringe Review)
“I felt Inez stood out the most even though she came out dark and bitchy she brought a true understanding to the concept of hell.” Max O’Connel
Well, well, well. Thank you all for coming and for your valued contributions on my attempts at the craft!
To summarise in my brain:
- I can play a lesbian. Not to a level of “good” or “mediocre“, but “very very convincingly“.
2. My “resting bitch face” can result in equally resting bitch face reviews. Not towards me, of course, (this time any way! Thank you theatre Lords).
3. My “resting bitch face” can win otherwise non-engaged audience members over.
4. My “resting bitch face” … ______. Oh stop it. Over-use of quotation marks is annoying.
Swiftly moving on…
4. I can play a 1940’s poorper post office clerk “very very convincingly” as well. My parent’s weekly $5 allowance if I scrubbed the toilet may just have something to do with this. Particularly alarming how some audience members seem to think sitting with them is ingenious! Thankful and gracious for the praise I am thus, but little do they know, the chair I was sitting on stage was breaking down. Yes, yes, I timed it so it worked out perfectly with the script:
<Estelle to Garcin>: “There’s no one here! (looks around for Melissa) Kiss me darling!”
The good news is, based on the above reviews, I will be performing something in London very soon. As per Hitchcock’s definition of good theatre, I shall make audiences suffer as much as possible once more.